Chuck Norris-2-

Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times

China was once bordering the United States, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it all the way through the Earth

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.


When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.


Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.


Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his own head.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down


Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.