Dirty

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."
Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."
Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.
A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."
Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

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A woman and her little boy were walking through a park in New York and they pass two squirrels having sex. The little boy asks his mom, "Mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The lady responded, "They're making a sandwich." Then they pass two dogs having sex and the little boy again asks what they were doing. His mother again replied they were making a sandwich. A couple of days later the little boy walks in on his mother and father and said "Mommy, Daddy, you must be making a sandwich because, Mommy has mayonnaise all over her mouth!!!" 

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Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!".
"I've been circumcised.", the other replied.
"What's that mean?"
"It means they cut the skin off the end."
"How old were you when it was cut off?"
"My mom said I was two days old."
"Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly.
"You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!"